Eventually, our attention shifts to other things which causes very real changes in the relationship.
This kind of hyperfocusing is also why so many ADHD relationships are great, until right after the wedding.
I blame all that dopamine and oxytocin racing around in our brains and making us feel so good that anything bad just doesn’t exist.
Unfortunately, this makes it almost impossible to do that thing “daters” are supposed to do – learn enough about the other person to decide whether or not we actually like them.
We ADHDers are really great at creating this kinds of places and we really like to spend a lot of time there.
But when your head is in the clouds, it is difficult to stay grounded.
But when our attention shifts, and it will, they can be left feeling alone, like we don’t love them anymore, or worse, like we sold them some kind of lie.
If there is one thing that characterized every relationship I have ever been it, it is this.
ADHDers fall fast and they fall hard which unfortunately means they don’t often fall for the actual person they are dating.
But the very last thing you need when you have a brain bursting with dopamine and overrun with oxytocin is your feet leave the ground.
When we spend our time in magic land, we create the version of the person we are dating that we like best, which is easier when we aren’t seeing all those pesky red flags.